There Will Always Be Christmas
by IceAmethyst
Summary: Slightly angsty. Hermione and Harry have a bittersweet goodbye.


_A/n; _**I couldn't resist writing SOMETHING fluffy today. We got some massive snow, so I had to write some fluff – call it the urge to write fluff… or something like that =)**

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Hermione Granger, barely seventeen and home for the winter holidays, leaned her forehead against the frosty windowpane of her bedroom window. She wasn't looking for anything in particular, not thinking about anything in particular – only staring at the peaceful and somewhat storybook-like image displayed in front of her. Some of the houses on her streets boasted festive multicolored iridescent Christmas lights, while others simply had Christmas wreaths resting on their front doors. The recent snow that had happened earlier that night left the world around her frosty and cold, yet somehow more magical than she'd give the Muggles credit for. 

The holidays had always gotten her a bit down, not because she'd have to be away from Hogwarts (though that was awfully sad) but because of her relationship with her best friend, Harry Potter. All through Hogwarts, they'd stuck to each other through thick and thin, much like best friends do. But certainly you'd expect, with a boy and a girl as best friends that they'd fall in love. In Hermione's case, that's _exactly _what happened. 

She imagined it started around their fourth year, when she'd given Harry that little peck on the cheek as they'd left. She'd berated herself about a million times after that, blushing as she realized how bold and brazen it was and how silly she must've looked. Since then, it'd grown from a silly schoolgirl crush, to infatuation and then finally into what was the strongest love she'd ever felt for anyone in her entire life. 

Of course, Harry being Harry, he was so cute and blissfully unaware of how every little thing, every little gesture he made, made Hermione fall even deeper in love with him. She suspected he'd once figured out she liked him, but nothing ever came of it. 

She sighed and lifted her head off the cool glass. The radio in her bedroom was tinkering out soft jazzy Christmas music she'd put on earlier as she was doing her homework. She strode over to her nightstand and clicked it off. Her gaze shifted over to pictures of her, Harry and Ron at Hogsmeade in their fifth year, and one recent picture of her and Harry taken in the Gryffindor common room. Hermione smiled, tracing the outline of the picture with her finger. 

"Hermione! Come down and join your family for dinner!" Her mother Helen called from downstairs. 

"Coming Mother!" Hermione called back, quite irritated she'd been snapped from her dreamlike state. 

She thundered down the stairs, only to be greeted by most of her relatives. 

"Oh, Hermione! Look how you've _grown _since you were eleven!" Her aunt Margaret cooed, hugging her niece close. 

Hermione smiled. Aunt Margaret was her favorite relative, she and Uncle Stewart and their little boy Dominic. Her other relatives were there: her grandmother Barbara and her grandfather Edward, her Aunt Kathy, Uncle Lyle and her other cousin Faye. It was a small family gathering since most of the family couldn't make it because of the bad snow in some areas. 

"It seems like it's been _ages _since we've seen you," Aunt Kathy replied with a smile. 

"Cousin Hermione!" Faye shrieked delightedly. Faye was a bit of a shy girl but always managed to come out of her shell when Hermione was around. 

"Jimmy, look how much you've grown since I last saw you!" Hermione said, pinching Jimmy's cheek affectionately. He scowled but hugged her anyway. 

"Oh my, it seems we're having _quite _a family reunion here!" Mrs. Granger said smiling broadly, "but come now! Lets eat before it all gets cold!" 

The doorbell suddenly (and unexpectedly) rang. A look of confusion crossed Hermione's pretty features. 

"Hermione, be a dear and get that," her mother said hurriedly and went into the dining room amidst the chatter. 

Hermione trotted to the door and opened it, expecting it to be another relative who'd shown up a few hours too late. 

Harry Potter, with snow dotting his jet-black hair and coating his long eyelashes, was standing there looking rather flustered and holding his Firebolt. 

"HARRY!" Hermione said with shock and excitement, throwing her arms around her best friend. 

"Whoa –" Harry said laughing, nearly being knocked down by her incredible hug. 

"Oh – my gosh! What're you doing here? Did you _fly _all the way from Hogwarts?" Hermione asked breathlessly, suddenly melting despite the cold air in his arms like butter. 

"Yeah," Harry said sheepishly, looking at his broom. 

Hermione didn't really care _how'd _he'd gotten there, all that mattered was that he was here now. She loved him, oh Gods, how she loved him. She sensed the hug was getting a bit emotional, but didn't unwrap her arms from the hold she had on him. Harry ran his strong hands up and down her back, invoking sparks that shot up and down her spine and warmed her entire body. His warm, perfumed breath hit her cheek and made her blush. 

"Harry, why did you come here?" Hermione asked suddenly. She let go of him and stepped back. Harry reached out for her, like a child reaching for its mother. 

"I had to. Herm listen I've got something I need to tell you," Harry said, his eyes looking sorrowful and heartbroken. 

"What is it Harry?" Hermione asked, her stomach feeling like it was bottoming out. 

"I – I had to drop out of Hogwarts," Harry said, his green eyes piercing her brown ones. 

Hermione felt the stinging cold of snowflakes hitting her bare skin, but nothing hurt and scared her more than what he said. "What do you mean by 'you dropped out of Hogwarts?'" 

Harry's eyes looked pleading with her, as if he wanted to tell her to understand and not be angry with him. "Hermione, please, don't – don't make this a big deal." 

"BIG DEAL?" Hermione asked incredulously, shaking Harry's shoulders. "Harry Potter, you just dropped out of Hogwarts! Why?" 

"I had to," he said in a quiet voice. 

"Why?" Hermione asked gently, her voice softening. 

Harry exhaled loudly, his breath turning to steam and floating upwards. She smiled tragically and brushed a lock of hair that always hung in his face out of the way. He shuddered slightly as he felt the contact of her warm skin against his cool cheek. 

"Because," Harry said, "Voldemort is after me." 

Hermione couldn't help but let out a loud, derisive snort. "Well of course he's after you Harry, he's wanted you dead since you were a baby!" 

"No, Hermione, it's not funny: you've seen and heard about the attacks on Muggles lately!" Harry said sharply, a funny glow in his eyes. 

Hermione stopped smiling. Harry was right, unfortunately: Muggles and wizards alike were dying left and right; the Ministry of Magic was in disarray; nobody in the Muggle world knew what was going on… the Dark Times were coming again, and Harry was leaving… 

"Why did you leave?" Hermione asked curiously, though her heart constricted painfully. If Harry left Hogwarts, it meant she'd probably never see him again. Once he left the protection of Dumbledore, he'd be found among the masses killed in Voldemort's wake within a month. 

"Everyone I love or is close to me is dying," Harry said sadly. This was true as well. In Voldemort's latest attack, Mr. Weasley and Oliver Wood had fallen victims to Voldemort's attacks. 

Hermione put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Harry, I – why do you have to go? _Where _will you go?" 

Harry shrugged. "It's probably back to the Dursley's for me." 

Hermione managed to crack a weak smile. Her heart was breaking inside. She had to do something… 

"You should probably know something, since we'll probably never see each other again –" 

"Don't say that Hermione!" Harry chided her. 

"Well it's the truth! You're leaving, aren't you?" Hermione asked angrily. What did _he _care that she was in love with him? What did _he _care if she never saw him again, and he died, and she was left to wander the rest of her life always knowing she never told him how she felt? 

"Hermione, please don't be mad, this is hard for me too," Harry said and without warning, pulled her against him in a tight embrace. Hermione nearly cried, it felt so good to be wrapped up in his embrace, loving or not. She breathed in deeply, smelling the cologne he was wearing along with a boyish scent that was all his own. She wondered how long it would be before she saw him again, would she be able to stand it? 

"I love you," Hermione said, hoping it would lighten the mood.  

Harry rested his forehead on her shoulder, exhaling loudly. Hermione waited for him to say something – anything – but he never did. Several minutes passed and Hermione got impatient. 

"Harry," Hermione said feeling ashamed she'd so bluntly told him how she felt, "what're you thinking about?" 

"I can never tell you how much you mean to me," Harry started off shakily. 

Hermione straightened up, looking him straight in the eye. "Why not?" 

He averted her piercing glare. "Because if I do, Voldemort will kill you next. And I don't want that, I'd die Hermione." 

"Harry!" Hermione cried, shaking his shoulders, desperate for him to tell her what she meant to him. If it was a friendly relationship, she could let him go but – but what if it was more? She would never let him leave her if he loved her. 

"Hermione, you're making this so difficult – maybe it's better if I just leave," Harry said and grabbed his broom. Tears freely falling down her face now, she let go of his shoulders, wrapping her arms around herself trying to get warm. 

"You're not going to stop me?" Harry asked although it was evident in his voice that he wanted her to stop him. 

"No. You'd better get going; it'll only get colder," Hermione said icily. He looked about ready to push off the ground as he mounted his broom. 

Harry looked at Hermione with innocent, pleading eyes. "Hermione, I'm really going to go now!" 

"FINE! Go then!" Hermione yelled and turned around to go into the house, "goodbye Harry." 

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed, jumping off his broom and grabbing her shoulders, "I love you, all right? Is that what you want to hear? Now beg me to stay already!" he said, his eyes filling with tears. 

"Please stay," Hermione choked out with tears still streaking down her face. He dropped his broom carelessly and it clattered to the ground, but all Hermione could hear was her own heartbeat pounding loudly as he kissed her. Warm sensations rushed through her, leaving her breathless as she kissed him back. Feeling his lips on hers was like salvation – Harry was her salvation. It was like time stood still except for those two individuals and for a moment Hermione forgot the fact she was supposed to be joining her family for dinner, and that Harry was leaving, and the world was in disarray – all that mattered was that Harry was with her here and now. She felt his tears intermingling with hers and she knew that this was just as heartbreaking for him as it was for her. 

Finally, they separated, leaving Hermione time to catch her breath. He quickly wiped away the remnants of his tears. "I'm such a baby." 

"Don't say that Harry – you're very brave for doing this," Hermione said although she was lying through her teeth. He was _very _brave for leaving but she wished so desperately for him not to. 

"I wish that I wasn't Harry Potter, why do I have to be the tragic hero?" Harry asked with a slight smile. 

Hermione smiled back at him and kissed his forehead. "Because if you weren't Harry Potter, I'd have to find someone else to be in love with." 

And that's the way they stood, feeling as though they'd been standing there forever even if it was just a couple of minutes. 

Harry shivered slightly and bent down to pick up his broom. "I'm sorry for doing this to you Hermione, sorry I had to come and make things worse by coming to see you – I had to see you again though." He turned to leave again but Hermione caught his arm. 

"Harry Potter, I swear I'll turn my wand on you if you don't come into my house and stay," she threatened looking actually ferocious. 

Harry looked hesitant. "Hermione – I can't –"

"Please Harry, do this for me – just for tonight?" Hermione pleaded with him, hoping she could coax him into staying. Perhaps she'd lock him in her room so he'd never have to leave. 

Harry sighed in a resigned manner. "Just for tonight." 

"Everything will be better in the morning," Hermione promised him. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Hermione whizzed around the kitchen, piling up food on a plate to give to Harry. She was on Cloud 9: Harry had kissed her! And he said he loved her! She just wanted to go into the living room (where he was reclining on a couch) and kiss him and hold him and never let him leave her sight again. 

She waltzed into the living room, where the fire had nearly burned itself out and over to where Harry was curled up peacefully. She sat down on the edge of the couch and set his plate on the coffee table. 

"I brought you some food; you look starved," Hermione told him. He took the plate of cookies and sandwiches and ate it gratefully. 

"Thank you Hermione," Harry said sheepishly, "I mean – for everything."   
  


Hermione smiled, suddenly understanding. "You're welcome." 

Harry stretched out leisurely on the couch, pulling Hermione with him. She was giddy with happiness, hearing the soft lull of his heartbeat through his shirt. She yawned sleepily and could hear her relatives in the next room talking quietly in the next room. This was enough for her, she wouldn't ask for anything else for Christmas: Harry Potter was in love with her and that was enough. 

"What would your parents do if they found us like this?" Harry asked quietly. 

Hermione grinned. "My father would most likely kill you." 

"It works for me," Harry said kissing her neck. 

She smiled contentedly as they both fell asleep in each other's arms. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Early on Christmas morning, her mother came downstairs to check up on Hermione. She wrapped her dressing gown tightly around herself, as the living room was quite cold. Helen Granger spotted her daughter sleeping soundly on the couch and shook her awake gently. 

"Mom?" Hermione thought sleepily and then thought of Harry. __

_Oh no I have to hide him,_ she thought wearily but felt the space behind her and… there _was _no Harry. 

"Oh!" Hermione said aloud, fully awake and cursed herself inwardly for falling asleep. 

"What?" Her mother asked, concerned. 

Hermione's eyes filled with tears and she looked out the window. When in the world would she see him again? 

"Nothing," Hermione said. She got up and as she did, a note fell to the floor. Curious, Hermione picked it up and went into the kitchen so her mother's prying eyes couldn't read it. 

Hermione – 

_ Words cannot express how much I love you. I will always be with you and don't let my absence keep you from living your life. You're going to live a long, full, healthy life and not even look back at this childish relationship with me… Heaven knows I'll be long gone by then. _

_All my love ~ Harry _

Tears welling up again, she crumpled up the note and threw it in the trash bin. 

I will always love you, Harry Potter… 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 

Bah. That was pretty awful. But oh well! It's pretty good but its not as good as most of my fluff pieces… this one is a tad more serious and not really fluffy. Kind of angsty in a non-angsty sort of way =) R/R! 


End file.
